The 700 Billion Dollar Bailout As A Nigerian Advance Fee Fraud Email

DEAR AMERICA,

URGENT AND CONFIDENTIAL BUSINESS PROPOSAL

I AM NAMHEL, WIDOW OF A RECENTLY DECEASED INVESTMENT BANK. AFTER THE DEATH OF MY BANK WHICH DIED MYSTERIOUSLY, I WAS INFORMED BY OUR LAWYER THAT MY CEO, WHO AT THAT TIME WAS AN ADVISOR FOR BARACK OBAMA, CALLED HIM AND CONDUCTED HIM ROUND HIS APARTMENT AND SHOWED HIM PICTURES OF FOUR MILLIONS OF HOMES, ALL WORTH GOOD MONEY, AND HE EQUALLY MADE HIM BELIEVE THAT THOSE TENANTS WERE GOOD FOR THE MORTGAGE, THEREBY MAKING IT A GOOD INVESTMENT.

THEN CAME THE CRASH AND SINCE THEN THE GOVERNMENT HAS BEEN AFTER US, MOLESTING, POLICING AND FREEZING OUR BANK ACCOUNTS AND EVEN MY ELDEST SON RIGHT NOW IS IN DETENTION. MY ACCOUNT COULD BE WORTH US$120,000,000,000,000.00 IF ONLY THE GOVERNMENT WOULD PROP UP THE BAD BONDS. THE SPECULATORS ARE INTERROGATING MY SON (DERIVITIVE) ABOUT OUR ASSETS AND SOME VITAL DOCUMENTS. IT WAS IN THE COURSE OF THESE, AFTER THE BURIAL RITE AND CUSTOMS, THAT OUR LAWYER SAW YOUR NAME AND ADDRESS FROM THE PUBLICATION OF THE MORTGAGE BUSINESS PROMOTION AGENCY. THIS IS WHY I AM USING THIS OPPORTUNITY TO SOLICIT FOR YOUR CO-OPERATION AND ASSISTANCE TO HELP ME AS A VERY SINCERE RESPONSIBLE PERSON. I HAVE ALL THE TRUST IN YOU AND I KNOW THAT YOU WILL NOT SIT ON THIS MONEY.

I HAVE SUCCEEDED IN CARRYING FOUR MILLIONS OF MORTGAGES AS LONG AS I COULD, WITH THE AID OF SOME TOP GOVERNMENT OFFICIAL, WHO STILL SHOW SYMPATHY TO MY FAMILY, TO A PLACE WHERE, TO BE PRECISE, I PRAY YOU WOULD HELP US IN GETTING THIS MONEY TRANSFERRED OVER TO YOUR COUNTRY. EACH OF THESE HOMES COULD STILL BE WORTH MONEY AND TOGETHER THESE HOMES COULD BE WORTH 2.1 TRILLIONS OF UNITED STATESDOLLARS.

THEREFORE, I NEED AN URGENT HELP FROM YOU AS A MAN OF GOD TO HELP GET THIS MONEY IN DEFAULT TO YOUR COUNTRY. THIS MONEY, AFTER GETTING TO YOUR COUNTRY, WOULD BE SHARED ACCORDING TO THE PERCENTAGE AGREED BY BOTH OF US.PLEASE NOTE THAT THIS MATTER IS STRICTLY CONFIDENTIAL AS THE GOVERNMENT WHICH MY LATE BANK WAS PART OF IS STILL UNDER SURVAILLANCE TO PROBE US.

YOU CAN CONTACT ME THROUGH MY FAMILY LAWYER AS INDICATED ABOVE AND ALSO TO LIAISE WITH HIM TOWARDS THE EFFECTIVE COMPLETION OF THIS TRANSACTION ON TEL/FAX N0:555-4-259-1257 AS HE HAS THE MANDATE OF THE FAMILY TO HANDLE THIS TRANSACTION.

THANKS AND BEST REGARD

MRS. NAMHEL

Congress' 700 Billion Dollar Advance Fee Fraud

The Advance Fee Scam is a variant of the Spanish Prisoner - one of the oldest cons (confidence scams) known to man. It plays on several natural instincts: greed, trust, and fear. It's old but it still works. Congress' bailout may be the biggest Advance Fee scam of all time and it relied on the same fundamentals.

The advance fee fraud scam involves ransoming cash or valuable items before the some option expires or thieves recognize its value. If this sounds like an email you received from Nigeria...it is.

In our version, congress told us that for an investment of 700 billion we could release assets in excess of 2 trillion dollars from the "locked up" credit market. We were told of billions of profits for projects like universal health care. Like any good confidence scam, the details were hard to grasp and very non-specific. And the trust part? Everywhere we looked, we had other members of the scam telling us how important it was to do this thing. People like James Johnson, Herb Allison, Henry Paulson, President Bush, Barney Frank and Barack Obama all helped create this mess...and we took their advice.

After the Big Push to get this funding through congress, the lonely American Taxpayer showed up in Nigeria to get his money back today, and look what we found. The DOW has dropped like a rock since congress finally authorized the money.

In the very near future this scam will evolve into a Spanish Prisoner when these same bright boys tell us that the 700 billion just was not enough. It will now take 1.5 trillion. They will tell us that since we have already invested 700 billion, it would be foolish to waste the money already spent. And that this time, THIS TIME, it will really work.

FYI dear taxpayer. The Spanish Prisoner scam usually ends when the mark (us) is broke.