Saturday, May 31, 2008

Teen blames kiss for her drunken driving arrest

Gianna Vigliotti, who was pulled over by police as she swerved in and out of her lane on Northern Boulevard in Manhasset Friday night, said that's exactly what happened to her, according to court documents.

After the 17-year-old from Glen Cove recorded a .15 percent blood-alcohol level in a portable breath test - nearly the twice the legal limit of .08 percent - she told the officer who pulled her over, "I didn't drink! I was kissing a boy who was drunk," according to the police report.


Vigliotti's (the dumb-ass chick's) attorney, Dennis Lemke of Mineola, said his client and her family are devastated by the charge

Devastated?

Vigliotti's speech was slurred... and he (Cop) found four full beer bottles under the passenger seat of her Volkswagen and an empty beer can in her purse

She may be an idiot, but for her family to act like this story of hers could be real explains a lot. I hope my next jury duty involves someone like this.

Update...here's a picture of the genius.

Stop Collaborate and Listen

Obamas church is back with a brand new edition. Same blame whitey first rap with a new sweating guy ape-ing around the stage. Pfleger. Ugh. He plays Al Jolson with that Dennis-the Menace-dad hair cut (no I won't bother googling Dennis the fucking Menace) and totally pflames as a fake black preacher. Those people in the pews didn't even know they were being mocked by the fucking idiot.

This is some cringe-inducing stuff here. Obama's church plays like a wacky sitcom - just like his crypto marxist populism rap.

OK that's a bunch of cultural references. First Al Jolson



Now for a little Vanilla Ice.



And finally Pffffleger himself. You decide who the biggest clown is after comparing these pricks.



Fuck it. Here is Dennis the Menace (dad) so you guys get the hair reference.

Friday, May 30, 2008

Nooner

Computer trained to "read" mind

So computers have finally caught up with my wife. Great. Now I have no place to hide.
Link to Article


WASHINGTON (Reuters) - A computer has been trained to "read" people's minds by looking at scans of their brains as they thought about specific words, researchers said on Thursday.

They calibrated the computer by having nine student volunteers think of 58 different words, while imaging their brain activity.


I bet I could speed this research along if they let me pick the 58 words.

Morning Wood: Friday

Girls or Guys? Jenna Jameson Sets the Record Straight on Her Sexuality


Link to Story


LOS ANGELES — Jenna Jameson made a career for herself doing some daring deeds for the cameras, but despite earlier claims of being bisexual, it turns out that there is one thing the former porn princess won’t do — and that’s root for the other team.

"I just got a text from one of my friends on my way over here saying that she wanted to go to bed with me," a disillusioned Jameson told Pop Tarts at last week’s Maxim "Hot 100" bash. "I think one of the big misconceptions everyone — even my friends — have of me is that I’m gay, but I am really not. I’m totally hetero."

Jameson retired from the X-rated industry last year and has since moved into mainstream acting — but she says it's been a struggle to prove herself.

Her first non-porn flick "Zombie Strippers" received a limited release in April and, well, didn’t exactly bust any box-office records.




In keeping with my efforts to take things one step further (too far), here is the trailer for Zombie Strippers. I just can't imagine why guys wouldn't want to see a movie where they get their dicks ripped off by...zombie strippers. Sounded like a franchise to me.




If you want to make a movie guys will watch, the Zombie Strippers need to impart super sized sexual powers when they bite guys on the cock. Dick triples in size and turn average Joe into a sex monster when he gets an erection. BUT...with a downside. Maybe every woman woman you have sex with also turns into a zombie stripper, complete with fake boobs and shitty attitude. Just my take, but that's why I'm not in Hollywood.

Thursday, May 29, 2008

Nooner: Dunkin’ Donuts Pulls Rachael Ray Jihadi Ad



Link to Rachel Ray Story


Rachel was sportin' the jihadi neckwear. I seriously doubt she has any clue, but she's cute and stupid...a perfect nooner.

Morning Wood: Thursday

Hat Tip: Silke

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Nooner: Wednesday

Hat Tip: Gordon


The War Between Free Markets and the New Marxists Has Begun

Next week, the Senate will vote on the Lieberman-Warner cap-and-trade climate control bill. The proposed statute is a nightmare that would devastate our economy. The Wall Street Journal calls it "the most extensive government reorganization of the American economy since the 1930s."
The EPA estimates that by 2030 it will reduce GDP by 0.9% to 3.8%, and that is based on assumptions that appear hopelessly optimistic. Even the EPA's assumptions contemplate an additional increase of 44% in the cost of electricity over what would occur without Lieberman-Warner.
The Chamber of Commerce has charted the various regulations, mandates and timelines that Liberman-Warner would dictate; click to enlarge:

I like the 0.9% direct payments to tribes affected by climate change. Check out the new economy flowchart at the link.
http://www.chamberpost.com/files/s.2191_hires.pdf

The New Marxism:

Environmentalism is not the same as Environmental Science. The -ism part implies a belief system that has evolved to the point that the Czech President calls it the new Marxism. Unfortunately most of the scientists working in this field are acting like they are papists from the middle ages.

I'll go even further. It seems to me that the folks in the former eastern block nations have a better handle on what freedom means and the need to preserve it than we do in the U.S. It's a shame that only a handful of politicians in this country have made this sober assessment of an obvious problem.

The "green" movement is all about intentions without regard to facts. See the abject failure caused by the ethonol mandates. The Heritage Foundation has a good review: Calling the solution worse than the problem.
http://www.heritage.org/Research/Energyandenvironment/wm1912.cfm

Washington - Czech President Vaclav Klaus said Tuesday he is ready to debate Al Gore about global warming, as he presented the English version of his latest book that argues environmentalism poses a threat to basic human freedoms.

'I many times tried to talk to have a public exchange of views with him, and he's not too much willing to make such a conversation,' Klaus said. 'So I'm ready to do it.'

Additionally,

'Like their (communist) predecessors, they will be certain that they have the right to sacrifice man and his freedom to make their idea reality,' he said.

'In the past, it was in the name of the Marxists or of the proletariat - this time, in the name of the planet,' he added.

'It could be even true that we are now at a stage where mere facts, reason and truths are powerless in the face of the global warming propaganda,' he said.

http://www.monstersandcritics.com/news/europe/news/article_1407867.php/Czech_President_Klaus_ready_to_debate_Gore_on_climate_change

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Best Ever Margarita

Hat tip - Bill

Nothing goes together like the hot summer days here in Florida and a damn good margarita. In a continuing effort to perfect the consumption of tequila, here is my current favorite recipe.

Zest 6 medium limes and 6 small lemons.

Halve the limes and lemons and juice into the zest.

Add 1/2 cup of sugar and a pinch of salt; steep overnight in refrigerator.

The next day strain juice to remove pulp and set aside.

Mixology: Mix equal parts juice, TripleSec, and reposado Tequila (I used Cuervo Tradicional) with crushed ice.

Serve and enjoy. Makes 8 servings.

The juice will freeze very well if events overtake the effort after the first round or two.

Review: Andromeda Strain

A&E's remake of the Michael Crichton classic is, in a word, HORRIBLE. The 2-part show, called a miniseries, was true to it's name - mini. Little plot, heavy handed "tells" and a lumbering cast with enough stereotypes to fill a decade of 1950's TV shows. At some point in part 2, I actually started to root for Andromeda in the vain hope that the obvious and predictable would not happen.

The most amusing part of this whole adaptation is heavy-handed juxtaposition of appropriately outraged and always correct "left-wing" characters, while the "right-wing" characters are proven to be wrong and evil 100% of the time. This kind of nuance could only come from our friends in Hollywood. I imagine one of these writers being asked how they "write" conservatives so well, with the answer courtesy of "As Good as it Gets" via Jack Nicholson: "I think of all the things I don't know, and I add fear and mistrust..."

I won't even get started on the subtext of "uninteded consequences" from the same ideology that brought us the ban on carbon-free nuclear power in the U.S. while we were watching atmosphereic CO2 levels skyrocket.

Like waffles are a vehicle for syrup and butter, this travesty was a vehicle for the moonbats and tinfoil hat crowd. From glorifying the Earth Liberation Front-types killing people to stop projects they don't like to virulent mistrust of all military types; good intentions supplant logic and reason throughout.

A couple examples of plot devices to help thwart the still unsure: The strain actually chased people across the desert like the ice hurricanes from "Day After Tomorrow." Add in the use of a wormhole to send messages back from the future vis-a-vis: Star Trek IV: Voyage Home and you get the idea.

Note to the pricks who wrote this thing: If you are going to steal, err borrow, from Star Trek movies, stay with Wrath of Kahn. And if you are going to borrow from disaster movies, steal from with the ones that had OJ Simpson.

10 stars out of 10 on the insult meter.

2 starts out of 10 overall. 2 stars for Benjamin Bratt's goatee in a supporting role.

Morning Wood: Tuesday

Monday, May 26, 2008

Very Cool




Mars Orbiter Catches Snapshot of Phoenix Probe's Landing

This is the first time that a spacecraft has imaged the final descent of another spacecraft onto a planetary body. Credit: NASA/JPL-Caltech/University of Arizona

February 1945: 2,147 starving captives in a Philippine prison camp were rescued on the day of their execution

Rescuing memories: Paratrooper, man he saved from prison camp speak for first time since 1945
Posted by Ted Roelofs The Grand Rapids Press May 26, 2008 00:00AM
Categories: Top Photos

War is often the story of things gone wrong: A missed drop zone. A jammed rifle. A shift in wind or weather.

These things happen. And people die.

But the dice sometimes tumble into place in ways that defy the odds. In February 1945, 2,147 starving captives in a Philippine prison camp were rescued on the day of their execution, perhaps minutes before their death. Those spared included a Grand Rapids missionary family of five.

The raid came off with such stop-watch perfection that Hollywood would have thrown back the script: Not one prisoner died. In a brief, fierce battle, Allied forces overcame about 250 Japanese soldiers at the Los Banos camp. Not one American soldier died.

"It's God's plan, let's put it that way, that we be liberated," said David DeVries, 83, who walked out of the compound at age 20 weighing 92 pounds, along with his parents, sister and brother.
DeVries looked up that morning to see a white string of paratroopers, including 19-year-old Sgt. Frank Krhovsky, swing out of a blue sky just outside the camp.

"This raid was done to perfection," Krhovsky recalled. "There was not one thing that went wrong."

In the pandemonium of the rescue, Krhovsky climbed aboard one of 54 amphibious trucks used to ferry the prisoners to safety. He struck up a conversation with a 15-year-old boy who happened to sit next to him up front. Henry DeVries Jr., David's brother, told the paratrooper where his family was from: Grand Rapids. As a former resident of nearby Ionia, Krhovsky didn't have to ask where that was.

"What are the odds?" he asked.

LINK
to the story at MLIVE.

Daring Rescue










Sunday, May 25, 2008

Movie Review: Commies Hate Indiana Jones


MOSCOW - Members of Russia's Communist Party are calling for a nationwide boycott of the new Indiana Jones movie, saying it aims to undermine communist ideology and distort history.

"Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull" has Indiana Jones competing in 1957 with an evil KGB agent, ..., to find a skull endowed with mystic powers.

Communist Party members in St. Petersburg said on a web site this week that the Soviet Union in 1957 "did not send agents to the States," but launched a satellite, "which evoked the admiration of the whole world."

Moscow Communist lawmaker Andrei Andreyev said Saturday "it is very disturbing if talented directors want to provoke a new Cold War."


Hmmm, 65 million killed and the communists are worried about their legacy? The Nazi party had the same beef after the Lost Ark.

Not to mention the Alderons, they are still pissed about what Spielberg did to their eco-tourism. They have spent millions on their "We are still here" campaign.



LINK
to story.

Morning Wood: Sunday

German (Bavarian) Couple Put Baby on EBAY for 1 Euro

Peter Hieber, a spokesman for police in the Bavarian town of Krumbach, said the baby was placed in the care of youth services in the southwestern Allgaeu region, although the child's 23-year-old mother insisted the ad was only a joke.

I think the rule is that it's a joke until you ask 100 Euros for your baby. Speaking of baby, where's baby?

Saturday, May 24, 2008

Atlas will shrug

Get a load of Represtative Maxine Waters (D CA) threatening to socialize...ahhhhhhh...take over all oil and gas companies. Classic example of the parasites threatening the hosts.

While I generally call bad government the result of unintended consequences, this display is an example of something far more dangerous. The House and Senate have spent 15 years screwing with the oil market here in this country. From taxes to unmanageable drilling and refining regulations, the impact has been higher prices and tightened supplies. This new socialist movement has used the power of big government to screw up markets then claims they are the only ones who can come in and save it.

The dirtiest little secret: The government makes about 5 times more money per gallon of gas than oil companies. Last year, Exxon made about 9 cents per gallon profit. Nice profit when you think of all the gas we use. The combined taxes in this country average 42 cents per gallon.

Friday, May 23, 2008

Morning Wood: Saturday

Guy Loses Interest In Sex After Seeing Fly in Drink and his naked wife...but Mostly Fly in Drink

OTTAWA (Reuters) - Canada's Supreme Court on Thursday dismissed the case of a man who said he lost interest in sex after he found two dead flies in an unopened bottle of drinking water. Waddah Mustapha sued the bottling company, saying he had suffered psychological damage, including depression, phobia, anxiety and damage to his sex life after the unpleasant 2001 discovery.

He won C$340,000 ($343,000) in damages in a lower court, but the Supreme Court ruled unanimously that he had not proved his case.

"Mr Mustapha must show that it was foreseeable that a person of ordinary fortitude would suffer serious injuries from seeing the flies in the bottle of water he was about to install. This he failed to do," the court said.

Mustapha said he vomited after finding the fly and now found it hard to shower. He also said he was afflicted by visions of flies walking over feces.

Mustapha -- who will lose the award and must pay the costs of the case -- was not immediately available for comment.



However, Mr. Mustaphas wife made the following comment on how he would have to pay his mortgage after having to give back all the money.

Jupiter Gets a Big Ass Red Rash, Global Warming?

First Mars, now Jupiter. What on earth, err our solar system, could be going on? Could it be the solar output increase the Russians have been writing about for years is actually true? Hmmm, flat earth indeed!

For 300 years astronomers have observed 1 red spot on Jupiter. In the last couple years, two more have formed. Cause...heating at the equator. Time for Algore to fire up the Moonraker and get rid of this damn rash before people on Earth start thinking for themselves!

Jupiter's recent outbreak of red spots is likely related to large scale climate change as the gas giant planet is getting warmer near the equator.





Flat Earth Society Just Got A Lot Bigger

Al Gore has always called the skeptics of the hypothesis that "all global warming is man-made" members of the flat earth society. Gore has insisted that no thinking person would dare disagree with the man that invented the internet and made big government disappear. Well, not so fast.

More than 31,000 scientists across the U.S. – including more than 9,000 Ph.D.s in fields such as atmospheric science, climatology, Earth science, environment and dozens of other specialties – have signed a petition rejecting "global warming," the assumption that the human production of greenhouse gases is damaging Earth's climate.

If Gore knew anything about science he would call his thesis what it is, a hypothesis - not a science fact. It hasn't been tested and not a single accurate model has been produced that can back-test or accurately predict future temps.

Gore uses political phrases like "consensus" and "settled" as a shield to prevent further discussion - just like they do in congress. But climate science is a relatively new field with exciting new discoveries almost every day.

We all know that this is more about politics than science; and the two have never mixed particularly well.



Morning Wood: Friday

Naked pilot, flight attendant arrested in woods

It's kinda like mom-dad: You knew they did it but you just didn't want to know about it.

HARRISBURG, Pa. - An airline pilot was found hiding behind a shed wearing only flip-flops and a wristwatch as a nighttime romp in the woods with a flight attendant ended with both under arrest, police said.


...and the best part...

The two somehow became separated, and people who live in the neighborhood summoned police around 9:30 p.m., saying they had seen a naked man and an intoxicated woman. A helicopter with heat-seeking equipment was called in, and Bradford was discovered hiding behind a shed shortly before midnight.

I'm not expert in this shit, but I see a naked couple in the woods...I'm calling both their asses drunk. Just me.


http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080520/ap_on_fe_st/odd_naked_pilot;_ylt=AnaEdV6YEs9HbqARBcu5KRwuQE4F


...and a little something for the kids in the back


http://www.uncorrelated.com/Salma%20Hayek.jpg


For the guys who like post-baby-momma pics...



Wednesday, May 21, 2008

American Idol Winner

So David Cook wins by 12 million votes. The other David (Archuleta) can thank his asshole father for second place. Because right now, the only thing America hates worse than President Bush is Nancy Pelosi. And after that, they really hate overbearing stage-dads that wear English driving hats. Sorry lil' David, your squinty eyed troll act just wasn't enough to overcome the fact that America also hates Danny Bonaduce - a lot. And like that other famous Mormon, Mitt Romney, Archuleta was probably better than the competition.




















Read more about that stage-dad at this link. http://www.sltrib.com/news/ci_9219068


All of which leads me to the "other" American Idol known as presidential politics. Why not have a two day phone in thing and be done with this shit now. If Simon and Paula can whittle down 4 stadiums of contestants in a mere 5 months, I think we could do this president thing in something less than 3 fucking years.


To sum up, there were no real stars this season, just a bunch of really good karaoke. NOW THIS is talent.


Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Movie Review: Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian

Rating: 3 stars out of 10

Insult Index: 8 stars out of 10

Directed: Adam Adamson (talk about an Alan Smithee name...)

Rated: PG for chopping things heads off and gutting nonbelievers.

Runtime:147 min USA:144 min (they knew Americans have a shorter attention span for boring movies)

The children return to Narnia, only to discover that 1300 years have passed since they kinda ruled there, and the evil General/King Miraz has taken charge and killed almost all of the native Narnians except an annoying mouse named Reekcheese or something. With the help of the exiled heir to the throne, Prince Caspian, they set out to overthrow the King. This time Aslan is taking the training wheels off and allows the little knuckleheads to scrape their knees a bit before he calls in the big guns to wipe out the bad guys in a CG filled, mind numbing, and utterly predictable ending - even if you were cool and didn't read this shit as a kid.

Watching this movie was actually pretty tough. In the end it took three free refills (three-bagger) of popcorn to make it feel like I got any value at all.

The really insulting stuff started about two-thirds the way through - at the start of the final battle scenes. First Miraz has his siege machines roll up and before I could say anything, my wife leans over and mentions that they look like they came straight from the "Return of the King" set. Then somebody (Aslan/the kids) summon up a bunch of trees to take out Miraz's sorry ass army. Yes, walking trees that know who to kill and who to spare. The only difference from the LOTR was that these trees were faceless and without personality, kinda like this fucking movie.

I leaned over to my wife and said, "they can't do this." Then the trees started running and kicking ass and I leaned over to my wife again and said, "they can't fucking do this." That's when I got the big Shhhh face. I still felt ripped off and so I decided to go back for another free popcorn, while only intending to eat a few bites.

Well, this fucking movie goes on for another hour and I ate half the damn bag and drank another coke. Anyway, the kids save Narnia again and we get an appropriate amount of excited utterances: "look out!" and "who's that!" plus an earful of phony "my lieges" at the end. My god what a rip off.

Finally, the whole Christian thing. It isn't and leave it at that. I can see why Muslims riot when Muhammad is depicted in pictures. Hollywood doesn't know shit about religion and always ends up insulting everyone anytime they touch the subject. Hell, I wanted to riot as a sign of solidarity. I can see the headline on Drudge: "Man flogs himself in theater after Narnia insults his religion..."

P.S. The three bags of popcorn with the required amount of coke to wash it down added an inch to my waistline as a final insult. It took three days to work that poundage off and less than a minute to forget this awful sequel.

Eat Tu Obama

The headline on Drudge yesterday was shocking enough, "Obama says we can't eat what we want..." The full quote was a nasty bit of crypto-marxist ranting:

"We can't drive our SUVs and eat as much as we want and keep our homes on 72 degrees at all times ... and then just expect that other countries are going to say OK," Obama said.


"That's not leadership. That's not going to happen," he added.


What the article missed was another of his quotes,

"We can't continue to consume 25% of the earth's energy with only 3% of the
population."

Oh really. Three things jump out at me there. First, nice to see you getting your quotes from our enemies again. Two, while not a lie, it's a damnable deception that only an America hating asshole would say. And three, why don't you and your mouth-breathing supporters volunteer to live like your family in Africa so we can get that energy/population ratio right. Look, energy consumption is the byproduct of a high standard of living. All these anti-capitalism pricks like Obama want to do is screw this country into the ground and this kind of speech is a perfect example of that mindset. Further, what business is it of any other country to tell us how and where to generate our energy. And if Obama had our interests in mind he wouldn't let the competition tell him how to run his business.

When talking about our energy consumption as a percentage it would be better to place it in the context of our GDP and not percentage of population. That way we can see how efficient we are with the energy we use.

Using that comparison: we have 26% of the worlds GDP and use 25% of it's current energy consumption (wiki world GDP numbers). And even that doesn't tell the whole story. Because Marxists always treat all things economic as static values they don't see the dynamics of economies. As the world achieves a higher standard of living, particularly China and India, both percentages will decrease and the percent energy use will decrease much faster due to their inefficient use of energy compared to the US.

Thanks for being a backstabbing prick, again, Obama.