Morning Wood: 'Beast' Man Jailed for Possessing 31,000 Animal Porn Images

A Tasmanian computer technician who considered himself a beast has been given a suspended jail sentence after being caught possessing bestiality images.

Rodney Scott McLagan, 48, of South Arm, today was sentenced after pleading guilty to possessing 31,000 illegal images, most involving human female sex acts with dogs, ponies, snakes, tigers and an octopus.

I usually draw the line with mammals. Turns out Rodney is a multitasker - he's into child porn as well.

Although 30 per cent of the total images involved child pornography, Hobart Supreme Court Justice David Porter today said only 20 per cent of those were actually viewed by McLagan.

"Your interests lie in the bestiality material," Justice Porter said in sentencing today.

McLagan's lawyer David Barclay told the court that his client had little or no interest in child pornography, and no relevant prior convictions.

Guys have tried that "my interests lie in the articles and not the naked women" line for years. I know my wife doesn't buy that shit.

Justice Porter said: "It also emerges from the report that you are particularly self-conscious about your teeth".

"One of the consequences of all of this in your case is that you equate yourself with a beast, reflecting the level of your self-esteem.

"It is that which motivated your accessing the material you did."

Sounds like Porter enjoyed pouring over the 31,000 images.

Time to clear the pallet.

Morning Wood: Unicorn Found in Italy

Morning wood and a unicorn, they go together like...pretty good.

Single-horned 'Unicorn' deer found in Italy
By MARTA FALCONI, Associated Press Writer Wed Jun 11
ROME - A deer with a single horn in the center of its head — much like the fabled, mythical unicorn — has been spotted in a nature preserve in Italy, park officials said Wednesday.



"This is fantasy becoming reality," Gilberto Tozzi, director of the Center of Natural Sciences in Prato, told The Associated Press. "The unicorn has always been a mythological animal."

Wrong. This is fantasy becoming reality. Your unicorn is cool. That's it.

Morning Wood: Mad Cow Scares Man to Death

Korean man sets self on fire during protest of imported US beef. Check that, two guys go flambeau to protest safe beef imports. THEN, the entire S. Korean Cabinet offers to resign. The issue...fear of mad cow disease.

SEOUL, South Korea - South Korea's entire Cabinet offered to resign Tuesday following a public uproar over the planned resumption of U.S. beef imports, despite concerns of mad cow disease.

Earlier in the day, a South Korean man died two weeks after setting himself on fire during a rally, according to Hangang Sacred Heart Hospital in Seoul.

Another protester set himself ablaze in a protest last week but his condition was not life-threatening, said Kim Tae-hyung, an official at a civic group that has organized demonstrations.

Let me get this straight. You kill yourself to protest something that hasn't killed anybody in your country? Now I'm no mad cow disease expert, but there seems to be something wrong here that is a little more dangerous than some funky beef.

Let's do a little google research to check out where this lies on the hypocrite/hypochondriac monitor. According to the WHO, Koreans males smoke at a rate of 67%. That number is 25% for the US. Yup, that's a 10 on the H/H meter.

I won't call Koreans stupid, but saying their worries are a bit misplaced is an understatement.

LINK to story

Here's the Grade A beef without any mad cow worry.

Morning Wood: Tuesday

Police say red dye pack exploded in man's pants

FORT LAUDERDALE, Fla. - Staffers at a pawn shop in Fort Lauderdale thought the shopper with a goatee looked suspicious. Their instincts were confirmed Monday when, two minutes later, a red dye pack exploded in the man's pants. He fled the store, ditching a stolen wad of cash that contained the theft-detection device.

Fort Lauderdale Police Department spokeswoman Kathy Collins said the man matched descriptions of a robber who pilfered a bag of money from a Pompano Beach bank about an hour earlier.


LINK

Authorities are still looking for him.

Hmmm. Steal money from bank then put cool pack thingy in pants pocket as a souvenir. I'm guessing here that an exploding dye pack an inch or two from your manhood is a little painful and probably reorganized the DNA in his nuts. Hopefully this genius was taken out of the gene pool, but I'm sure it's probably too late for that.

And about that police line-up. Six guys with goatee's, no problem. Finding six guys willing to let you spray paint their balls red...

...and a little something to clear the palate...

Morning Wood: Tuesday