Morning Wood: Tuesday

Police say red dye pack exploded in man's pants

FORT LAUDERDALE, Fla. - Staffers at a pawn shop in Fort Lauderdale thought the shopper with a goatee looked suspicious. Their instincts were confirmed Monday when, two minutes later, a red dye pack exploded in the man's pants. He fled the store, ditching a stolen wad of cash that contained the theft-detection device.

Fort Lauderdale Police Department spokeswoman Kathy Collins said the man matched descriptions of a robber who pilfered a bag of money from a Pompano Beach bank about an hour earlier.


LINK

Authorities are still looking for him.

Hmmm. Steal money from bank then put cool pack thingy in pants pocket as a souvenir. I'm guessing here that an exploding dye pack an inch or two from your manhood is a little painful and probably reorganized the DNA in his nuts. Hopefully this genius was taken out of the gene pool, but I'm sure it's probably too late for that.

And about that police line-up. Six guys with goatee's, no problem. Finding six guys willing to let you spray paint their balls red...

...and a little something to clear the palate...

Nooner

Atlas will shrug

Get a load of Represtative Maxine Waters (D CA) threatening to socialize...ahhhhhhh...take over all oil and gas companies. Classic example of the parasites threatening the hosts.

While I generally call bad government the result of unintended consequences, this display is an example of something far more dangerous. The House and Senate have spent 15 years screwing with the oil market here in this country. From taxes to unmanageable drilling and refining regulations, the impact has been higher prices and tightened supplies. This new socialist movement has used the power of big government to screw up markets then claims they are the only ones who can come in and save it.

The dirtiest little secret: The government makes about 5 times more money per gallon of gas than oil companies. Last year, Exxon made about 9 cents per gallon profit. Nice profit when you think of all the gas we use. The combined taxes in this country average 42 cents per gallon.