Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Morning Wood: Tuesday

Police say red dye pack exploded in man's pants

FORT LAUDERDALE, Fla. - Staffers at a pawn shop in Fort Lauderdale thought the shopper with a goatee looked suspicious. Their instincts were confirmed Monday when, two minutes later, a red dye pack exploded in the man's pants. He fled the store, ditching a stolen wad of cash that contained the theft-detection device.

Fort Lauderdale Police Department spokeswoman Kathy Collins said the man matched descriptions of a robber who pilfered a bag of money from a Pompano Beach bank about an hour earlier.


Authorities are still looking for him.

Hmmm. Steal money from bank then put cool pack thingy in pants pocket as a souvenir. I'm guessing here that an exploding dye pack an inch or two from your manhood is a little painful and probably reorganized the DNA in his nuts. Hopefully this genius was taken out of the gene pool, but I'm sure it's probably too late for that.

And about that police line-up. Six guys with goatee's, no problem. Finding six guys willing to let you spray paint their balls red...

...and a little something to clear the palate...

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