Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Review: Andromeda Strain

A&E's remake of the Michael Crichton classic is, in a word, HORRIBLE. The 2-part show, called a miniseries, was true to it's name - mini. Little plot, heavy handed "tells" and a lumbering cast with enough stereotypes to fill a decade of 1950's TV shows. At some point in part 2, I actually started to root for Andromeda in the vain hope that the obvious and predictable would not happen.

The most amusing part of this whole adaptation is heavy-handed juxtaposition of appropriately outraged and always correct "left-wing" characters, while the "right-wing" characters are proven to be wrong and evil 100% of the time. This kind of nuance could only come from our friends in Hollywood. I imagine one of these writers being asked how they "write" conservatives so well, with the answer courtesy of "As Good as it Gets" via Jack Nicholson: "I think of all the things I don't know, and I add fear and mistrust..."

I won't even get started on the subtext of "uninteded consequences" from the same ideology that brought us the ban on carbon-free nuclear power in the U.S. while we were watching atmosphereic CO2 levels skyrocket.

Like waffles are a vehicle for syrup and butter, this travesty was a vehicle for the moonbats and tinfoil hat crowd. From glorifying the Earth Liberation Front-types killing people to stop projects they don't like to virulent mistrust of all military types; good intentions supplant logic and reason throughout.

A couple examples of plot devices to help thwart the still unsure: The strain actually chased people across the desert like the ice hurricanes from "Day After Tomorrow." Add in the use of a wormhole to send messages back from the future vis-a-vis: Star Trek IV: Voyage Home and you get the idea.

Note to the pricks who wrote this thing: If you are going to steal, err borrow, from Star Trek movies, stay with Wrath of Kahn. And if you are going to borrow from disaster movies, steal from with the ones that had OJ Simpson.

10 stars out of 10 on the insult meter.

2 starts out of 10 overall. 2 stars for Benjamin Bratt's goatee in a supporting role.

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